margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
organizing the empties. That sober.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
