I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize