We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
