It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
