We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
