I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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