I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
