margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
