so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
