took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize