You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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