tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
