you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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