At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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