guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
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