dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
