i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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