Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
