i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
