omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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