no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
