I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
