So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Can you bring me the toilet please
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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