We won't sleep together?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
