Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
