i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
