Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
