WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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