i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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