Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
