i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
