yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
