Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
