Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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