i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
