please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize