I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
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Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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