I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
