so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
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There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
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I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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