Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
