I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize