Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
