I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
How's work?
Spinning.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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