Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
