If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
