wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
