glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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