Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize