guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
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Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
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What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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