I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
