Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
