So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize