her vagine was all disorganized.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
