i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
