Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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