Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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